'Time for him to go': Freeloading boyfriend lives in sister-in-law's garage, threatens brother-in-law when he asks him to clear out

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Feb 9, 2025 3:00 PM EST

Living with family is far from easy, even when you're all adults. Because odds are, one of you still has the power (aka whoever's house it is). This can stir up some ego problems in even the more secure people. If you're down on your luck and relying on the kindness of family, then it can be a blow to your self-esteem, even if deep down you're only grateful for their support. It's not easy to take favors from others, even if you need them. This can also work in reverse. 

You might be glad to help out someone in your life who needs it, but you also might become resentful of their drain on your resources. Maybe you yearn for the time when they weren't living in your house and might start to get annoyed at all the little things they do. The tension can mount slowly but surely until one of you breaks. 

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  • 01
    MEMCOS BA BIKES LEVEN
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this story when a husband and wife helped house the wife's sister and family, but when push came to shove their hospitality seemed like it was being taken advantage of. These situations are never easy to navigate, and the homeowner was left wondering what to do. Read on for the story. 

  • 02

    AITAH for telling my sister- in-law that her boyfriend needs to move out of the house?

    Well, I haven't told my wife and her sister yet that the sister's boyfriend needs to move out. I want to cross my Ts and dot my Is, legally speaking, first. Nonetheless, here is the situation:
    via u/CranberryRelative370
  • 03
    I (40m) bought a house with my wife while I was living overseas. My wife allowed her sister, 2 kids, and the sister's boyfriend to move into the house with her since I wasn't living there. The boyfriend (30m) quickly claimed the garage and made it his "man- cave." My wife didn't care, as she never went to the garage.
    via u/CranberryRelative370
  • 04
    When I say he made it his man- cave, I mean that he stays down there all day and often sleeps there. He will come out to go to work, unless he has been laid off, go to the bathroom, and raid the refrigerator since he doesn't eat meals with the family.
    via u/CranberryRelative370
  • 05
    After being overseas for almost 3 years, I have lived in the house for nearly 2 years now. On my wife's wishes, I have looked into buying a second home. That way, they could rent one of the homes from us, which would also provide me with the space in my own house that I need. While we were looking at houses, I allowed him the garage.
    via u/CranberryRelative370
  • 06
    It turns out that we can't buy a second house because after agreeing to pay $700 a month in rent, they have consistently fallen short by $200 - $400 a month. 8 months ago, I brought home a motorcycle and told him that he needed to make room in the garage for me to be able to rebuild it. He agreed to this. Unfortunately, he never followed through and continued to sleep in the garage.
    via u/CranberryRelative370
  • 07
    So mid-December I told him he needed to move his stuff out of the garage and I gave him a 3 week time frame, well we are now well over a month and a half past that due date. He has told me that he stays in the garage because he doesn't like living here. He has also said
    via u/CranberryRelative370
  • 08
    that he will remove his stuff from the garage, but he has yet to follow through. He is upset that he has lived here for "this long," and he doesn't know why everything has to change now. He tells me he doesn't have a place to put his stuff and that his family will move out soon. (Despite not actually having a time frame.)
    via u/CranberryRelative370
  • 09
    I have pointed out that he can simply pack his stuff in boxes and stack it in a corner since he is "moving" anyway or that he can get a storage unit like I had to because his family is taking up 3 bedrooms and my garage. His answer to this was to threaten to kick my a and to tell me to talk to my sister-in-law because he doesn't want to talk to me.
    via u/CranberryRelative370
  • 10
    There is obviously more to the story but those are the basics. If more details are needed let me know I will provide them. Finally, my first inclination was to let him off with a warning and that under no circumstances should he ever threaten me again because I would go to the police if it ever happened again.
    via u/CranberryRelative370
  • 11
    However, after sleeping on it I am leaning toward removing him from the property now. My reason is simple; I wouldn't tolerate him threatening violence against anyone else in the house, so, in that train of thought threatening me should be no different.
    via u/CranberryRelative370
  • 12
    Daily N WE NEED A CHAN
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 13

    Commenters quickly reassured the homeowner that he was in the right for kicking him out.

    Rich-Ad8534 · 9h ago NTA. He's been disrespecting you and threatening you. Time for him to go.
    via u/Rich-Ad8534
  • 14
    Temporary_Alfalf... 9h ago Nta why is your SIL even with him?
    via u/Temporary_Alfalfa686
  • 15
    Winternin 9h ago • His answer to this was to threaten to kick my a and to tell me to talk to my sister-in-law because he doesn't want to talk to me. No, you should talk to your wife. It's her sister's bf, not
    via u/Winternin
  • 16
    your sister's bf. You talk as if your wife and your sister weren't even in the picture. Your wife needs to tell her sister to move out along with her kids and bf, period.
    via u/Winternin
  • 17
    III... 9h ago Edited 9h ago You are a doormat (to put it nicely). He has threatened you. You don't need to talk to anyone except the police. Put him out the house and anyone who doesn't like it can go with him.
    via u/Illustrious_March192
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    Edit- and if you do call the police about his threats because you don't feel safe in your home and you fear for your life, do not allow them to tell you this is a civil matter. Violence is not civil. If you absolutely cannot get police to do anything you take your police report to the magistrate and file
    via u/Illustrious_March192
  • 19
    charges yourself and/or file for a protection order. Hopefully because you fear for your life due to his threats you can avoid a whole eviction process
    via u/Illustrious_March192
  • 20
    FoxySlyOldStoaty... 9h ago my first inclination was to let him off with a warning You're an idiot. Kick him out now.
    via u/FoxySlyOldStoatyFox
  • 21
    . StarryKittenFairy • 7h ago NTA. Honestly, you've been more than patient with this guy. You've given him plenty of time to move his stuff and even offered reasonable solutions like using storage or stacking things in a corner. It's not your fault he's not following through.
    via u/StarryKittenFairy
  • 22
    As for the threat of violence, that crosses a line, and you were right to make it clear that's not acceptable. You're within your rights to want your space and peace in your own home. It would've been better if you'd talked to your wife first, but at the end of the day, this is your
    via u/StarryKittenFairy
  • 23
    house too, and you're not obligated to let him stay there indefinitely. His behavior is out of line, and you shouldn't have to tolerate it.
    via u/StarryKittenFairy
  • 24
    MajorAd2679 • 8h ago Start an official eviction process. It should have been lone months/years ago. If you ever buy a 2nd home, don't rent it to family. As you saw from experience, they don't pay as agreed.
    via u/MajorAd2679
  • 25
    . Quiet-Hamster65... 8h ago "Your sister's boyfriend has 7 days to move out and take his belongings with him. This is not open to negotiation."
    via u/Quiet-Hamster6509

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aita AITAH freeloading sibling rivalry freeloader living together sibling memes siblings money problems reddit story family feud family sibling sister reddit thread Reddit money
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